As an End of Life Doula, my role is to be with you and your loved ones in a way that is meaningful to you as you make your way with your terminal illness and at the time of dying. I provide non-medical support, education, advocacy and companionship. I am also able to be with loved ones through the early stages of grief after the death.
– This step can be done at any time in an adult’s life; in fact, it is recommended for every adult and to be reconsidered every couple of years. Ideally it is best to have these conversations before a crisis occurs, so that your wishes are known and documented.
Advance Care Planning includes identifying and developing
Once you have a sense of your wishes in these areas, I can assist as needed in talking with an attorney to get some of the necessary forms completed, and we can complete some of them together.
You may want someone to talk through what this diagnosis means for you in terms of how you will spend your time going forward. There may be paperwork to organize and sort through. Maybe there are things on your bucket list you would like to accomplish. Or you want to review your life in a recording, video or in letters to people. Perhaps there is something special you want to create to leave as your legacy. You may want to plan what your space will look like and who will be with you as your dying time comes. You may want help planning your memorial or funeral or you may want to plan a gathering with loved ones where you are still alive and able to participate.
I can help you with each of these, and in the process, I can be a companion for you – someone who is comfortable talking about end of life, and death without judgements or an agenda. I can also provide respite care for caregivers needing a break, and am available to be with your loved ones during the grieving process.
FAQ courtesy of Sally Gabriel, PhD, epiloguecare.com
As End of Life Doula, also known as a death doula, dying companion, or death midwife, I am a trained, non-medical professional who provides emotional, physical, informational, and spiritual support to individuals who are nearing the end of their lives and their families. As a doula, I offer guidance, education, and assistance before, during, and after death.
An End of Life Doula operates like a life coach for patients and families at the end of life. I am there to help you determine what matters most during your life’s final chapter and will help to bring your wishes to fruition. What loose ends do you need help tying up? What broken or estranged relationships would you like to resolve? I can help you share your untold stories or help you hold a “pre-memorial so you can reminisce together with your friends and family.
While most people cannot comfortably discuss death and the end of life, an End of Life Doula is trained to speak easily about these subjects and to treat dying as a natural process. I will help you and your loved ones experience the best outcome possible – death with dignity and physical, emotional, and spiritual comfort.
I answer questions, ease anxieties, serve as a guide, and advocate for autonomy and dignity. End of Life Doulas are not only for the imminently dying. I can assist people in all stages of life with advanced care planning, education, resolving death anxiety, and supporting grief.
When we let death “happen” without planning, it becomes a medical event rather than a normal part of a life cycle. We must remind ourselves that death is a natural part of life. Approximately 30% of people create end of life plans and share them with their loved ones. But what about the other 70%? We will all experience death at some point, so why not plan for it? The more you plan for your death, the better the experience will be for all involved.
The greatest determining factor in whether or not an end of life journey is considered positive is the level of support experienced throughout the process. End of Life Doulas are event planners for the dying and help fill the gaps between all of your different service providers. I can work with you, your family members, and caregivers to help you develop an “End of Life Care Plan” so you have a say in the different aspects of your dying journey.
End of Life Doulas are a calming and reassuring presence with knowledge of the death process. I serve as a compassionate resource for families who may be in shock, overwhelmed, and grieving at the impending death of a loved one. There are various services I can offer in the dying process, and my goal is to be a comforting, reliable, and knowledgeable presence during a difficult and emotional time.
End of LifeDoulas can be called in at any point during the end-of-life process (or earlier; see the next question). The best time to hire a death doula is at the point when a person first gets a terminal diagnosis. End of Life Doulas do not have the same admission criteria that hospice does and can begin important discussions at any time during one’s illness. The sooner I enter the process, the more time I have to get to know you and your family, prioritize end of life needs, and, with your input, create a high-quality End of Life Care Plan.
Absolutely not. You do not have to meet any particular criteria to work with an End of Life Doula. If you (or someone you love) receive a life-limiting or terminal diagnosis, even if the prognosis is years, I welcome you to contact me whenever you feel ready to start the conversations and planning around death. People without known diagnoses also work with End of Life Doulas to facilitate challenging conversations, create advance directives and manage death anxiety.
Yes. End of Life Doulas provide supplementary and complementary support. Anyone who has had a loved one in hospice knows that the number of hours of weekly hospice care is usually quite limited due to staffing, budgeting, and Medicare restrictions. Doulas work well alongside hospice staff and can provide more service hours than hospice workers.
Yes. The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO ) is the membership organization for all the hospices in the US. They have created The End of Life Doula Council to be able to share with hospices and families how the professional End of Life Doula can assist and complete the hospice team to fill in “the gaps in care” and allow for the best end of life experience for both the patient and their loved ones
It is recommended that every individual and family facing a terminal illness call a local hospice as soon as possible. Usually, there is a medical referral to hospice, but that’s not necessary. Though End of Life Doula services do not replace the hospice’s medical team of nursing, social work, and physician care, I complement the hospice team. Doulas offer more time availability than what hospice may be able to provide. The end of life training a Doula receives exceeds what hospice volunteer programs provide. I have been trained and practiced in being with intense and difficult emotions and listening fully.
Several qualified training programs educate and certify End of Life Doulas. Many Doulas have medical, social work, psychology, counseling, ministerial, or similar backgrounds before training as an End of Life Doula. When you choose an End of Life Doula, be sure to choose one who has earned certification.
Not yet. The End of Life Doula profession is non-medical. Just like the establishment of birth doulas 40 years ago, a government license is not necessary to enter the profession.
Yes. The National End of Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) has set a national practicum with Core Competencies for the practice of professional End of Life Doulas. All End of Life Doulas that pass the assessment receive the NEDA National Credential and can become members of the national membership organization.
No. End of Life Doulas are usually private pay. All “companion” services, such as home health aides, are private pay. Some hospices in the US include End of Life Doula services, but Medicare limits these individuals in how much time they can devote to each patient.
End of Life Doulas charge for their services in various ways. Some create service packages for a set fee, while others charge by the hour.
No. An End of Life Doula does not give any prescription or over-the-counter medication. Only specific medical personnel and trained caregivers (including family members) can administer medication.
Yes. An End of Life Doula can help with all the necessary preparations before and after a person’s death.
The death-positive movement is about leaning into our natural human curiosity surrounding death to help mitigate our anxieties. (We all have anxieties). Death-positive people believe that speaking openly about death is not taboo or depressing. We view honest conversations about death and dying as part of a healthy mental state. The death positivity movement encourages us to be interested and curious about death, to talk about it openly, and to plan for its inevitability.
Complimentary 20 minute consultation – in person, by phone or Zoom
Sliding Scale: $70-$125 per hour based on ability to pay. If this is a service that you are looking for, please call regardless of your ability to pay. There may be other options, and I will assist you to get your needs met.
Packages are available and will be designed to meet your needs.
I am based in Northampton, MA. and am willing to travel or work using Zoom.
My work supporting people with terminal diagnoses started over 30 years ago when I became an Emotional Support Volunteer for people living with AIDS in San Francisco. I have been a student of quality of life until the end of life since then. I have been a hospice volunteer, and have provided education and training on the importance of having advance care directives. Perhaps most importantly, I am comfortable being with people who are facing their mortality – either as a practice for what is to come or in real time as a terminal diagnosis is being navigated. I look forward to meeting you.
I can help you with each of these, and in the process, I can be a companion for you – someone who is comfortable talking about end of life, and death without judgements or an agenda. I can also provide respite care for caregivers needing a break, and am available to be with your loved ones during the grieving process.
Doorway Into Light; Facing Death, Nourishing Life
IAP Career College: Death Doula Certificate
University of Vermont: End of Life Professional Certificate
Member, National End of Life Doula Association
Based in Northampton, MA and offering services
to Hampden and Hampshire Counties.